Families and Ministries

Instead of starting a new blog, I'll just collect my thoughts on this one as I work through some of this Family-based, Family-equipping, and Family-integrated ministry stuff.  I am having to do some work for a class I am in, and in turn, because my job is in this very area, it is an appropriate time to assess where we are and where we need to go. 

The three people who write in "Perspectives on Family Ministry" are of diverse opinion as to what is responsible for a decline in the faith-retention rates of American teenagers as they go to college and subsequently leave the church.  Many theories have been floated as to why this phenomenon occurs.  Many family-integrated specialists blame the entire concept of youth ministry and age-segregated ministry.  Many people blame the lack of worldview training in youth programs, believing that tepid teaching for years on the age-specific struggles of youth leave them groundless in their faith when they encounter the real world in college.  Some people believe it is a lack of parental involvement around the house, that many kids grow up seeing an anemic faith in father and mother and adopt it wholeheartedly.  Others have blamed public schools, public universities, and believe cultural influences are too strong for teenagers to resist in the formative years leading up to adulthood. 

It is probably safe to say that some of these issues are correlative to the poor retention rates of American teenagers as they grow into adulthood.  Some of these issues are probably symptoms, however, and not real causes for the sad state of things.  There are probably issues that nobody has dealt with that are just as responsible as some of the ones mentioned here.  Some of the issues only exist as a subset of larger cultural problems in America.  In the American Church's self-reflection of itself, the fact that we are talking about retention rates as if something is broken with our Student Ministries and not wondering if something is broken with our entire ministry paradigm in general.  Maybe we are not retaining 80% of graduating seniors, because only 20% of the children we baptize are regenerate.  Maybe half of that 80% return after they are out of college and have their own families, and live out the remainder of their life in our churches still in an unregenerate state.  Perhaps the real problem is that nearly 80% of our church members are unregenerate, and the only phase of life where the social scorn of church abandonment is socially acceptable is during the college and young adult years.  By the time they have rejoined, no heart work has been done on these people.  They just play the social game and realize church attendance is beneficial again.  These would be larger problems with our churches that would not be solved by having or not having age-segregated ministries.  They are problems with Gospel implementation.

Let's be honest here, we don't expect mainstream, liberal Protestant denominations to keep their members after they leave mommy and daddy's house.  We expect them to trade that gospel-lite therapeutic inoculation for some real living.  Whether that is talking philosophy over a beer at the local nihilist's club or sleeping around in unrestricted debauchery, we don't think that explains a failure in the form of Student Ministry.  Age-segregated ministry had nothing to do with that downgrade, gospel-absence had everything to do with it.  It's more surprising when it happens in the Southern Baptist denomination.  And then again, it shouldn't be.  Let's be honest once again.  Cheap grace decision-based moralism is still a counterfeit Gospel.  We shouldn't be surprised when they trade the sappy life of rural Southern religion for the campus-centered lifestyle of college.  We also should not be astounded when a youth-dominated culture produces youth who act like delayed adolescence is a more authentic form of living over the adult version of life. 

My point is, we have too many factors going against us to blame 100% of our failures on a functional issue like the age-segregated ministry structures.  Our wood sailing ship won't move, is taking on water, coated in gasoline, the kids are playing with fireworks, faulty electrical systems are sparking everywhere, there are sharks in the water, and right now we are going to have a board meeting to determine what sail material to use next time we take the old girl out to sea?  A pertinent matter no doubt, but not the only kink in the system.  We do need to critique ministry structures, but not at the expense of talking about other shoals that we can wreck on that need to be examined as well.  You cannot fix everything at once, and you cannot fix every problem without leaving others undone.